Friday, August 19, 2016

How to be more of a man / How to be more of a woman

As a follow-up to last Sunday's article, "How to be more of a man on the dance floor", I'd like to deepen the conversation.

Today I'll address the questions of "How to be more of a man" and "How to be more of a woman" . . . in a romantic and intimate relationship!  

The reason I'm taking the discussion off the dance floor and into our private lives, is that today's main messages for men and women can apply to our tango as well.

I think many of you will agree that a tango is often a microcosm of life. The roles we play out as we dance a tango, vals or milonga, reflect many aspects of who we are in our relationships.

If we improve who we're being with our tanda partners, might that 
not influence who we're being with our life partners, or our dating partners?  And vice versa?

Today I'm not going to write a long article on the topic.  I'm going to turn over the floor to someone I consider a "mega life coach", a man I admire tremendously, and to whom, via books and videos, I often turn when I want to grow emotionally.

The teacher I'm sharing with you today on the subject of fully expressing our masulinity or our femininity, especially in relation to the opposite sex, is Mr. Tony Robbins.

Here is a video I received last December as part of a series, and have been wanting to share with you ever since.  I feel like now the time is right.

The video's an hour long. It was shot at a big Tony Robbins training event. In this segment, Tony helps a married couple named Arantza and Alan. 

Not all my readers will want to devote an hour to watching it.  

But if you do watch the whole video, which I recommend, you will hear and see: 

1) what Tony teaches Alan about what it means to truly be a man with his wife, Arantza - who's ready to leave Alan, even though she's pregnant, because he has no clue about how to give her what she needs from him, and . . .

2) (in the second part) what Tony teaches Arantza about what it means to be a woman, for herself, and with her husband.

You will start to see the seeds of a transformation for this couple during the live event to which they have come with the hope that Tony can heal their relationship.

But what I want everyone to witness, and tears come to my eyes as I write this, is the remarkable and beautiful transformation that is so "mind-blowingly" evident when they return two years later for a check-in interview with Tony.

When you see the man that Alan has become, having followed Tony's advice that we all hear during the event, you will be moved, if not stunned.

And something similar happens for Arantza.  You'll also learn why it was so difficult for her to fulfill her womanliness and give freely of it to her husband, until he became the man he was meant to be.

I urge you to watch the video, and see what you can personally learn from the brilliant Tony Robbins, and from the couple who, with Tony's guidance, grew their relationship to a level of fulfillment that earlier had seemed an impossible dream.  I hope you'll make the time to watch it this weekend!

To watch the video, CLICK HERE.

Please share your thoughts about it in the comment section below.


  1. In my humble opinion the primary focus is being present or presence if you will. To relate it to tango, the focus will be on the follower, as a lead will you be present & focus on her? Or as a lead are you viewing what is taking place somewhere else off the dance floor, or eyeing another follower that you've been trying to catch the attention of all night? Are you displaying moves that you hope will also catch the eye of someone else? As a lead if you can't be present for the follower within your embrace they'll know (the embrace won't be as it should) & ask themselves - why did I even bother. All this ties neatly back to the previous posting of - How to be more of a man on the dance floor, being clear & decisive, & letting the follower know that you’re present there for them & that you’re going to take care of them.


    1. Well said, Greg! Thanks for your insights.