Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Your pleasure . . . or your joy?


Something prompted me yesterday morning, as soon as I finished breakfast, to pick up Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" once more, and reread Chapter One, "You are not your mind".  To me, this chapter alone is a brilliant piece of work.  
One sentence in particular struck me this time, and I want to discuss with you as it pertains to tango: "Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within."
 
What an interesting tango partner can give you when his or her dancing is good enough to "make" your dance, and when his or her dancing makes you feel good, and makes you smile . . . is pleasure.

To take the example to an extreme, when a male tango teacher or other professional "dances" a woman, and she doesn't know exactly what's happening, nor what she's doing, but she just know she's dancing like she could never dance before, doing things she doesn't really know how to do (which is why many women love to take lessons with a strong male teacher), she feels pleasure, sometimes delirious pleasure!  Nothing wrong with that. I confess, "I been dere" myself, in my early tango days.

But what you experience when your dancing comes from the strength and creativity within you . . . that's joy!

Joy is not an emotion or a sensation, but rather "a deep state of Being", as Tolle calls it, referring to our condition of Oneness with the universe and all that is in it. It has no polar opposite, like our emotions do, but is either present or it's not.

I want you to experience lots of pleasure from your tango! But I see so many women and men feeling miserable at milongas certain evenings because they can't find partners that give them pleasure. I struggled with that too, for many years.

I designed the 9 modules of my "Permission Seduction Tango Learning System™" to help you to discover new levels of inner strength, as a man or as a woman, and to master a language with which you can creatively and confidently express your deepest self.  When you achieve this kind of self-assuredness and awareness when you dance, tango does indeed help you reach a state of joy, because in this case, the beauty and the thrill of tango come primarily from within you.  So you can dialog with all kinds of partners, if you choose. Even if you choose not to do so at some milongas, you still possess your means to confidently express yourself creatively, musically, sensually - whatever aspects of tango you choose to cultivate.

An interesting, competent, or cuddly partner can enhance the pleasure you derive from tango, but the joy of dancing YOUR tango, when you have mastered certain essentials, will come from within yourself.
 
And speaking of mastering tango essentials, that's what we'll be doing in the August Tango MojoTM Coaching Retreat, where 32 tangueros and tangueras will experience breakthroughs, so they can go home, knowing how to freely and joyously tap into their inner resources when they dance!

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