Saturday, March 10, 2012

The lesson in Rhett & Scarlett's morning-after

I've only watched "Gone with the Wind" once, many years ago, but I'll never forget the disappointment and frustration I felt when Rhett visited Scarlett's bedroom the morning after he had "taken" his wife brutishly. He promptly apologized, having no idea of the great pleasure he had given her, in which she was still basking upon awakening. I don't remember the exact dialog, but I do recall that her lingering delight quickly turned to biting antagonism, . . . and there we went again. Our hearts sink as we abandon all hope of a happily-ever-after transformation of this great passion into lifelong romantic bliss. 

Here is a short clip from the film, revealing a third party who could have saved the day with a moment of feminine wisdom:
Click on link above or copy and paste into your browser.

I had thought, "If only Rhett had known what Scarlett really wanted, and how easily he could have kept making her happy - and he would have been happy too! Why didn't Mammy tell him her mistress was feeling so good?"  

What brought this scene to my mind was a moment in a private lesson a few weeks ago, when my student was working with me on his lead in a molinete (woman's turn around the man).  I encouraged him to use more force in his upper right arm - not forearm! - to guide me around him to his left, because generally, when the man leaves his right arm passive as he turns, he tends to hold the woman back, so she falls behind.  

This student, who already has a wonderful embrace, tried putting the force I recommended behind his bicep, and on the first shot his lead felt marvelous!  The whole giro (turn) worked perfectly, and I absolutely loved the dynamic feeling in his lead!  My student was completely surprised. "Really????" he asked, amazed that such force would feel good to me.  

How would he have known, without the guidance of an expert woman?  Though male teachers can tell you what kind of technique works (if they talk about technique at all), they still usually can't tell you what women love to feel on the dance floor!  

This little story is a shameless plug for my 6-month Online Home Study Program, Coaching Club, and VIP Private Coaching for men,  "Tango Improvisation Mastery™", where you (or tangueros you know) can get the inside scoop on not only how to dance tango more competently and confidently week by week, but also on how to dance in such a way that women can't get enough of you!  

Find out more about it at

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