Friday, October 28, 2011

The lobster emerges from under the rock

Someone once described to me what he learned when he took his children to see a film about deep sea life: what happens when a lobster outgrows his shell. The lobster must writhe energetically and, it seemed, painfully, to break out of his too-small shell.  When he's broken free and wiggled out of it, he then must hide under a rock in his vulnerable state, until he grows enough of a new shell to protect him from predators, because a naked lobster would get gobbled up in an instant!  When he feels his new shell is solid, he ventures out and resumes his life, comfortable presenting his bigger self to the world!

Well, my friends, I figured out that I was going through my lobster-under-the-rock phase.  Last June I found myself working 12-15 hour days, between teaching, organizing, preparing for programs, and marketing.  I finally recognized that I was getting burnt out. I needed to rest - a lot!  I had fantasies of being taken to a sanitorium, a big white house on a lake with a green lawn and gardens, where nurses would feed me and some nice person would take me out in a rowboat, and I could wear clean pajamas every day.  Woooo! Wake-up call!!  No, I did not want to end up in that picture. 

During the 12-15 hour workday period this summer, I started working with a branding expert to try to redefine my brand promise and make a clear statement about my business. My earlier marketing claims, or definitions of my work, no longer felt right to me. I couldn't quite articulate what I really stood for, though I knew it was something really big.  I wrote dozens of exercises to try to find the right words.  I felt like I was in my 8th or 9th month of pregnancy, waiting for something to mature within me and finally come out!

I decided to stop doing everything that drained my energy.  I eliminated every activity that was time-consuming and unprofitable. I started to spend an hour a day at the poolside, meditating as I listened to the fountains.  Or walking down to the beach and watching the Gulf at sunset. (Actually, I took the tram for a while, because I was too exhausted even to walk the mile!) I vegged out on the lanai, enjoying the breeze. I got more sleep.  

Then something unexpected happened. Brilliant ideas started coming to me. Since I gave up my intermediate group classes that were, by popular demand, often focused on steps and patterns, my teaching moved to a deeper level. I was becoming more effective and my private students began to experience transformations. I became clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that through my teaching of the fine art of tango, I am fostering two things: genuine intimacy between man and woman, and the confident, spontaneous, creative expression of masculine and feminine sexuality.

Here's what one of my men students told me in a discussion about his new enjoyment of both greater intimacy with women through his tango, and the confident, creative expression of his masculinity:

Irv Fong, after 15 months of Argentine Tango lessons with Helaine.

I'll be writing more about this subject in the coming weeks.  I'm quite excited about the role I see my teaching playing in the lives of tango men and women here in Naples and around the world in "civilized" countries, where they have have been conditioned to stifle their natural, sexual expression for the sake of political correctness. I've even begun designing a long-distance learning program* (see below) so I can help greater numbers of people!

* * * * * * *

* That program, my 6-month Online Home Study Program, Coaching Club, and VIP Private Coaching for men,  "Tango Improvisation Mastery™", has been live since January 2012!  Organized in practical weekly modules, it will give you (or tangueros you know) the inside scoop, from an expert woman's point of view, on how to dance tango more competently and confidently, and in such a way that women can't get enough of you!  

Find out more about it at

No comments:

Post a Comment